When U Pray

I always hear the saying “I’m unbothered”, and I think, why did you feel the need to tell the world that? Then I found myself about to write this long social media post about how I was good on all the people who left me. I was good on all the people who turned against me or left me behind. I was writing it in my head as I looked for my phone. But y’all guess what God did?

He stopped me in the kitchen, the Holy Spirit said, but you are Not Good. You are hurting and in pain and until you admit that, you can’t heal.

WOW

Guess what I’ll be doing the next few weeks? You got it, I’ll be taking the steps toward HEALING ❤️‍🩹

I’ll be allowing myself to feel the hurt and all the other feelings so I’m not trapped by these feelings. I’ll be thankful for the people who didn’t abandon me physically and emotionally. I’ll be thankful that God does not allow me to cover those things that I don’t want others to see. I’m not always OK and that’s ok too. I’ll be letting these things go so I can receive love and give it freely. I can’t be free if I’m captive to hurt, pain and false pride.

I’ll take the time to heal so I can break the cycle of hurt people hurting people.

“The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/2co.3.17.ERV

“My brothers and sisters, God chose you to be free. But don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful selves. Instead, serve each other with love. The whole law is made complete in this one command: “Love your neighbor the same as you love yourself.” If you continue hurting each other and tearing each other apart, be careful, or you will completely destroy each other.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:13-15‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/gal.5.13-15.ERV

This is a repost from 2013.. still relevant today. Actually I sat on the bed listening to this song this morning during my time with God and the tears rolled.

I have always been moved by Fred Hammond’s song “Please don’t pass me by”. In summary it’s about a man who feels Jesus presence and calls out to him. Well the man was blind and in my mind I have cast him as broke and broken as well, the crowd was telling him to stop bothering Jesus because he had nothing to offer Jesus. But this mans need was so great, his faith so strong that in his heart he knew he needed Jesus and he continued to cry out to him in spite of what the crowd said. This man told Jesus I know I’m broken but I will serve you if you let me.
Can I tell you I am unable to hear this song without tears falling because this mans cry is just like mines. The enemy will tell you to stop bothering Jesus because your problem is not big enough for Jesus to be worried about. The enemy will remind you about your sin over and over as if your sin defines who you are. The enemy would have you believe that your particular sin is bigger than God and God can’t use you. The enemy is a liar, stop listening to him. Believe what Jesus said, it’s real.
“Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest. Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 ERV)

““With the loving mercy of our God, a new day from heaven will shine on us.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭1:78‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/luk.1.78.ERV

Don’t you just love a new Day, a new Week, a new Month or New Year? I love new beginnings as it reminds me we have another chance.

Most of the people at work will tell you Monday is my favorite day. It’s funny because I always dreaded Monday, I would begin to be depressed that Monday was coming on Saturday night. I was a hot mess. Monday would roll around and I wouldn’t want to get out of the bed, I would be grumpy for the first few hours and then I would be okay. I’m a morning person and I’m usually my best self in the mornings, but not Monday morning.

One day as I was preparing to be depressed, we do that you know?, we decide what THING is going to depress us or hold us hostage. Mines was Monday and I was ready to be upset. The Holy Spirit reminded me that I was choosing to be sad. WHAT, not me, I’m a happy person! Well I had given myself permission to be sad about Monday and it had to stop.

Monday is a day that the Lord made and he allowed me to wake up, in my right mind and with all power. This is the DAY! I had to decide to give up the power of sadness, yup, no more depressed Monday’s. I chose to make Monday my rallying day. Monday is now the day I recognize as New Mercy! God made Monday just like he did everyday and I will rejoice about it. I look at Monday and I get excited that I have another chance to get it right, another chance to love and be loved.

“This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be happy today!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118:24‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/psa.118.24.ERV

Key point: ““But maybe you don’t want to serve the Lord. You must choose for yourselves today. Today you must decide who you will serve. Will you serve the gods that your ancestors worshiped when they lived on the other side of the Euphrates River? Or will you serve the gods of the Amorites who lived in this land? You must choose for yourselves. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.””
‭‭Joshua‬ ‭24:15‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/jos.24.15.ERV

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Marvellous are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭KJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1/psa.139.14.KJV

If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. If being right means being without you I’d rather live a wrong doing life..
(As written by Luther Ingram)

That’s how I feel about myself… after all the things I’ve been through, all the things that have happened to me, I’ve learned to love myself and nobody and nothing can make me change how I feel about me.

Over the years I have been molested, cheated on, mentally abused, lied to, lied on and often felt left out. I used to believe that because of the things I had been through and the things that happened to me that I was unworthy of love. I felt I was dirty and misused and unworthy of affection. I felt I was beaten down mentally and I was afraid to let myself be loved, even by God. Ain’t that crazy.. I don’t normally say that word but it’s appropriate right here. I was a fool for listening to the enemy define me.

One day the spirit of the Lord reminded me that it was my responsibility to teach people how to love me and I needed to start with allowing Him to love me. I had to begin to see myself the way God saw me. I had to remember that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I had to remember that God knew me before he formed the world, nothing in my life would catch him by surprise. I had to trust that God knew what I needed and he would move heaven and earth to make it happen. I had to let the love of God heal me.

I say to you, let God heal you so you will love yourself and once you can trust the love of God, you will be able to allow true love in your life.

“You can be sure that anyone who serves the Lord faithfully is special to him. The Lord listens when I pray to him.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/psa.4.3.ERV

Love, to be loved, oh what a feeling to be loved. And then what? We all want to be loved and accepted and cherished but once you get all of that what do you do with it?
We all crave unconditional love, the kind of love that is spoken about in Corinthians but are we willing to make someone comfortable enough in our love to receive it? Love is not just saying the words, it requires the actions that go with it.

I bet you are saying huh? What is she talking about?

Well, unconditional love is defined as a love that does not require conditions. If you only love someone when they act the way you have decided is right, that’s not unconditional love. If you only love someone when the love you give is reciprocated in kind, that’s not unconditional love. If you only love someone if they look exactly like you like them to look and do the things you have defined as “perfect”, that’s not unconditional love.

I’m asking you to open your heart to a love that changes you, that allows you to love others in a way that is freeing and beautiful. As you trust God more and more you will realize that he can do what we can’t, his love allows us to love others the way we want to be loved.. unconditionally..

“But I tell you, love your enemies. Pray for those who treat you badly. If you do this, you will be children who are truly like your Father in heaven. He lets the sun rise for all people, whether they are good or bad. He sends rain to those who do right and to those who do wrong. If you love only those who love you, why should you get a reward for that? Even the tax collectors do that. And if you are nice only to your friends, you are no better than anyone else. Even the people who don’t know God are nice to their friends.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:44-47‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/mat.5.44-47.ERV

Trust that God knows what love is ..

“Yes, I am sure that nothing can separate us from God’s love—not death, life, angels, or ruling spirits. I am sure that nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us or nothing below us—nothing in the whole created world—will ever be able to separate us from the love God has shown us in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/rom.8.38-39.ERV

“Be willing to serve each other out of respect for Christ.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:21‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/eph.5.21.ERV

People always say treat people the way you want to be treated.. I say treat people the way they want to be treated.
Every person has a love language and I believe when you love someone you should attempt to love them in the way that makes them feel special and appreciated. Hallmark and social media will tell you every woman wants flowers and or chocolate but that’s not true. Some women like spa days, some like money, some like your time and attention, while others love big acts of appreciation. I say take the time to know the person you are in a relationship with so that you make them feel special in a meaningful way and not to support the social media madness.

Think about God, he loves each of us so much he gave us all his son , but he still has a personal relationship with us and blesses us according to our needs. God won’t give me your blessing because it was good for you, he will create something that will be equally good for me. God will not treat me the same way he treats you because our needs are different but he is the same God every day, to each one of us. God created us in his image and his likeness so we are created to love, to know Love is to know God. Be joyful in love and let love be complete in you.

“So we know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love. God is love. Everyone who lives in love lives in God, and God lives in them.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/1jn.4.16.ERV

“Live a life of love. Love others just as Christ loved us. He gave himself for us—a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice to God.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:2‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/eph.5.2.ERV

Love has been described in many ways by many people but God’s definition is the one I love most .
“Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:5-7‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/1co.13.5-7.ERV

As we approach Valentines Day many people will look to the gifts they receive as a testament to the love others have toward them. Husbands and wives will purchase cards and gifts to share their love, children will exchange cards and treats to their classmates and the lonely all over the world will feel left out.

I love Mary J Blige and as I listened to her song it was a fair assessment of how romantic love really is …

Beautiful, horrible, magical, terrible, reason to laugh and smile, reason to cry yourself to sleep at night, start a fight, makeup, breakup, wrong or right heaven for all it’s worth can equally be held right here on earth

And no one really knows(No) anything about it but everybody needs it we can’t live without it

And that’s the way it goes darkest day, brightest night just some other things you might hear. If you ask what love feels like
And it feels like joy and it feels like pain and it feels like sunshine feels like rain
And excuse the dying, reason to live and if you don’t know that’s what love is, love is, oh….

How accurate is her description when you speak of love between people?

I thank God for his love because it is not reliant on us to do anything but accept it.

Talking with a friend today I had an epiphany .. every word spoken by the Pastor may not be for you. Prayerfully each pastor prays and gets revelation from God but when he delivers the message, this time it may not be for you. That does not mean the Pastor wasn’t effective, the message wasn’t for you today.

““Rain and snow fall from the sky and don’t return until they have watered the ground. Then the ground causes the plants to sprout and grow, and they produce seeds for the farmer and food for people to eat. In the same way, my words leave my mouth, and they don’t come back without results. My words make the things happen that I want to happen. They succeed in doing what I send them to do.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:10-11‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/isa.55.11.ERV

Before you get frustrated ask God to reveal himself to you. If you hear something and you are not sure if it’s for you, ask the creator, he always confirms his word. Remember his word cannot go forth and not produce the intended fruit.

“Do any of you need wisdom? Ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to everyone. So he will give you wisdom. But when you ask God, you must believe. Don’t doubt him. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is blown up and down by the wind.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:5-6‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/jas.1.5-6.ERV

Keep the faith, stay steadfast and immovable. Don’t allow the enemy to confuse you about going to church or being fed. Don’t allow him to convince you that your blessed place is no longer your home. Your food should come from the Lord and be confirmed by the pastor. Often times the enemy will make you frustrated at church so you stop going, you start complaining about the pastor or the usher board or the choir instead of worshipping or you find yourself feeling out of sorts. Stop everything, refocuse on God and he will lead you. Remember the enemy is constantly causing strife, that’s his job. Your job.. Trust God!

So Tuhday I got a reminder from the Holy Spirit to check myself.
I overheard a conversation and the person was asking someone for a bible. Good news right? Well an evil thought enters my head like “soon as they get caught up they want a bible”! The Holy Spirit quickly, I mean immediately reminded me “That’s when they need one”. I was so ashamed .. I didn’t say it out loud, the horror was that I could even think it. The Holy Spirit reminded me that I have more work to do on myself.

Jesus told us to come to him when this life gets too hard, that’s what he wants. I had the audacity to think something negative about someone wanting to turn to God; knowing that once upon a time and often in my every day life I am weary and need the Bible and everything in it to help me.

““Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/mat.11.28.ERV

So the next time I think something negative I’m going to remind myself that we have to help each other. I am also going to keep my mind stayed on Jesus so those thoughts don’t have room to grow.

“I mean that I want us to help each other with the faith that we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭1:12‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/rom.1.12.ERV

You ever realize the first instruction you are given in an emergency is to remain calm?
The reason you have to remain calm is so that you can follow directions and survive the event. This is especially true when there is more people involved than you; you have to remain calm so that they have someone to guide them.
I believe that the lessons we are taught during the emergency drills can help us face any situation. The word of the The Lord reminds us.
“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”
‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1/jos.1.9.KJV

He also tells us to trust him to rely on him when we find ourselves in situations where we are troubled or concerned. Keep your mind on him, you can’t worry and trust!

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26:3‬ ‭KJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1/isa.26.3.KJV

Many situations in our lives will present themselves as an emergency. You will often be required to put yourself first so you can help others. Putting yourself first is not selfish, you can’t help anyone if you are broken and frustrated. Take time to allow Gods power to heal you. Take time out of each day to pray and seek God. Take time to relax and do something for you. The world won’t stop sending craziness so continue to do the things that allow you to stay strong. The world will send many situations to test you, trust God and watch it be ok. Ask God to be your guide and your strength. Ask God for what you need. He loves you and wants you to be successful.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:2, 4-6‬ ‭KJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1/jas.1.2-6.KJV

This is actually a reprint of the blog I wrote in 2015. I was reading an article and it was saying that Pearls are making a comeback. I immediately thought of this piece and I went back and reread it. It blessed me and I hope it will mess you too.

“Also, God’s kingdom is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. One day he found a very fine pearl. He went and sold everything he had to buy it. (Matthew 13:45, 46 ERV)

The finest quality natural pearls have been highly valued as gemstones and objects of beauty for many centuries, and because of this, the word pearl has become a metaphor for something very rare, fine, admirable, and valuable.

Your heart and spirit reminds me of how pearls are made. People see pearls as beautiful, perfect gems, but never realize that they actually come from pain–from something sharp or dangerous getting trapped inside an oyster where it doesn’t belong, the oyster makes a pearl to protect itself. Pearls are almost indestructible, you never hear these words “my pearl shattered”, “my pearl fell and broke”, nope they are strong, just like you. Pearls are strung on thread, that may break and just think, if your string breaks you reach down, gather them up and restring it. You may not know the actual order they were in before the string broke but you normally would have reinforcements added so it does not break again. Jesus does the same for us, we don’t break but our string might. We get tired from dealing with things at work, having no work, husbands, being single, things at home, bills, kids, more bills than money, drug addiction, alcoholism, fear and rejection. I could go on and on but I think you get it. Jesus reaches down, grabs all our pearls and restrings us, stronger and rearranged in a way to make us better.
These words from Mary J Blige “Stronger with each tear”, speaks to what I’m thinking.

You’re much more than a struggle that you go through
You’re not defined by your pain, so let it go…
You’re not a victim, you’re more like a winner
And you’re not in defeat, you’re more like a queen

In each tear
there’s a lesson,
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know ,
In each tear Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you’re meant to be!

This New Year I decided to reflect on my last year and not concentrate on a resolution. I felt that in reflecting on the past I would have the spiritual experience necessary to face my future.
Reflection defined as serious thought or consideration.
“he doesn’t get much time for reflection..

Well I wanted to be deliberate in taking time to reflect on all the things God has done for me. Reflecting on the joy and the pain, the mountain top experiences as well as the valley low experiences. I realized that in all situations, God is still God!

God gave me enough of everything last year, enough joy to live through the pain. Enough hope for those days when I could have been hopeless. Enough peace to hold me in situations that were not of peace. God gave me mountaintop experiences that allowed me to see beyond my situation and realize he has things in control and does all things well. He gave me valley experiences so that I would be sheltered from the storms raging on higher ground. He was GOD!

As I reflect back, I see Gods hand at work in my life bringing the people I need at just the right time but also removing people who’s purpose no longer matched mines. I saw Gods hand at work as my family was attacked by sickness and mental anguish.

God continued to be God.

I challenge you to reflect on your life and look for the hand of God at work in your situations. Look at some of those situations you thought would kill you and see how he blessed you. Look at when you felt all hope was lost, he made a way. Look at all the times you wanted to give up but he kept you going. Spend some time in reflection so you can have joy in 2022.

“I remember you in my prayers. And I always thank my God for you. I thank God because I hear about the love you have for all of God’s holy people and the faith you have in the Lord Jesus. I pray that the faith you share will make you understand every blessing we have in Christ.”
‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1:4-6‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/phm.1.4-6.ERV

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭KJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1/rom.8.28.KJV

As I was mixing cookie dough this morning for our famous “Family Cookie Day” I was reminded of how God works. I was adding sugar and butter and mixing them together but not tasting it, I didn’t think that would be good. I then added 4 eggs and some sour cream and now I knew it wouldn’t be good so I kept mixing and blending. I added some vanilla and flour and it started to come together. That’s when it hit me..,
None of those things taken singly or with only two or three ingredients would be good to eat but once they all come together and are blended and baked, there is nothing better.

I looked back at my life and some of the events were horrific, some were tragic , some were beautiful and some were hilariously awful but when I see Gods hand at work in those events I am reminded that every single thing had to happen to get me to where I am today.

I never imagined a marriage that was fulfilling and full of laughter (we had some rough patches) and I never imagined the peace and joy I am able to feel daily. But God!
Once I admitted I was unable to solve my own problems and that I was placing my faith in things I couldn’t see but none of them were God; I surrendered myself to God and over the years he has shown my how all those things were working together for my good.

I say to you today, take the bitter with the
Sweet, take the joy and the pain.. it will all work out for you.
“Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you whatever you ask for. Depend on the Lord. Trust in him, and he will help you.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:4-5‬ ‭ERV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/406/psa.37.5.ERV

This week I have featured the young people in my life. Today I offer you a word from Minister Zamir Turner .. grandson of my heart ❤️

To be honest and transparent, sometimes I have an attitude towards God. Not because of the decisions he chooses to make, but rather that he doesn’t consult with me first. I’ve sown in tears and greatly labored in the work of the cross…but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t grow weary while waiting on fruit. Life is littered with moments that remind you that you’re waiting on fruit. I’d argue that we have misconstrued what the fruit of our labor really is and even more so than that, what it really means. It isn’t us watching our child graduate with that degree, or watching that sibling finally get the job offer they’ve been waiting on, or even you reaching the magnanimous goals you’ve set for yourself. Fruit isn’t defined by where it grows…but rather what happens after it’s picked. See with every prayer, conference, elevation, demonstration, and expression of life and love you’re sowing a seed, roots take deep, trunks began to grow, branches elongate, and stems sprout, but the very last thing to grow on the tree is the very thing you planted it for, the fruit. I would petition you to not be concerned with what those you love accomplish or even you yourself achieve, but rather what you all become. After being picked did you provide nourishment for a soul, nutrition for their deficiencies, and offer a sweet remedy for their agonizing pain….or had you allowed external worms and bugs to eat away at your resilience and cause you to rot from the inside out? It’s all a matter of the choices we make. The choice to believe, the choice to press on, the choice to hope again, the choice to remain unshaken by these spasmodic & unsteady days in which we live. I’m praying for the soundness of your choice and although I must bid you farewell I leave you by saying exactly what Jesus said unto Peter as he watched his identity become clear, I’m praying for you…as you wait on your fruit.