Trouble don’t last always

““I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world!””

‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Man, it seems like when things are going bad, it lasts forever. It appears that nothing can go your way and everything you touch crumbles. I sit here and think, what did I do? Where did I make a bad choice that led me to this place? I’m looking at things and knowing in my spirit that all my bills are about the same, my money is about the same but it’s not enough to get the job done. I look at people who I feel make less or do less and they are making it, they are happy and well put together. Life seems to be going fine for everyone else yet I am drowning in debt, drowning in my spirit. What is going on?

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like you were dealt a bad hand, or believed that life has been too hard on you? Have you ever felt like you keep picking the wrong door? Like life’s a game and you are losing?

Stop 🛑 right now and bow your head. Yup it’s easy, bow your head, breathe in slow and let it out slow. You got it, do that a few more times. Ok now that you have some air in your lungs and oxygen to your brain I’ll tell you a secret. EVERYBODY has trials and tribulations.

What seems small to you could be a mountain for someone else. What seems possible for you is impossible for someone else. What you are going through others would love the opportunity to change problems with you. It’s a natural fact that our problems always seem bigger than us. But I have good news.

Nothing is impossible with GOD!

I’m not kidding. Why do you think so many people believe in Jesus? It’s not because we are brainwashed or lazy, it’s because we have learned to trust him. You know how we learned? We trusted him and he proved what he said. He did what he said he would do. We trusted his word and the word became real in our lives.

“But those who trust in the Lord will become strong again. They will be like eagles that grow new feathers. They will run and not get weak. They will walk and not get tired.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬ ‭ERV‬‬

“God says, “Stop fighting and know that I am God! I am the one who defeats the nations; I am the one who controls the world.””

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46:10‬ ‭ERV‬‬

““Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭ERV‬‬

“Don’t worry—I am with you. Don’t be afraid—I am your God. I will make you strong and help you. I will support you with my right hand that brings victory.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Now, I say this, trouble comes but it won’t last always. Trust the process, there are no accidents in the kingdom, all things work together for your good. Take a look back over your life and tell me how you made it over! Yup, he helped you then, he has you know.



As I sit here looking across my property I have a feeling of love, comfort and peace. It’s something about being at home that provides me with inner comfort. Thinking of home reminds me of the Stephanie Mills song,

When I think of home, I think of a place

Where’s there’s love overflowing

I wish I was home, I wish I was back there

With the things I’ve been knowing..

As I go about my life working, traveling, playing, shopping and just enjoying myself I wander far and away from home. I enjoy long trips, short trips, day trips and just being out amongst the people. I am a true extrovert, I am energized by other people and events, I love it. I love watching people in their many forms. I love seeing how God takes two people, mixes them up and creates another. It’s amazing seeing a child with his moms hands or feet, his dads mouth or nose and grandma’s legs. It’s amazing to me the shades that people come in from stark white to rich dark brown that glistens to black. It’s glorious to see the manifestation of people’s ideas about their hair, from bald to locks down the back and every style in between. Dreadlocks, curls, straight hair, half shaved heads and piercings. I’m always a little surprised when I see how people create and recreate themselves. People move me.

I say all that to say let’s celebrate each other and our differences, we may make different choices on how to wear our hair, how to dress or where to put a comma, but in the end, we are more alike than different. Let’s rejoice in our uniqueness and appreciate ourselves so we can appreciate what we see in each other.

Allow God to heal that place in you that holds those ugly words. You know the ones, “you will never be anything more because of your momma”, you are dumb”, “you are stupid”, “you are too fat”, “you are ugly”, “ you are too thin”, “you are or you are. Or something”.. those are just words so let me give you some more.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made

You are Gods treasure

You are enough

You are beautiful

God created you, you cannot fail

Believe what you want but I encourage you to believe something beautiful.

Then go home, get revived, rejuvenated and restored.

“A wise woman makes her home what it should be, but the home of a foolish woman is destroyed by her own actions.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is the day we celebrate my birth. It’s normally a day filled with selfish behavior, or really spoiled brat baby behavior, but it’s ok. Really it is, who could do this better than me, yeah no one. Lol 😂

I was looking back at my year and thinking, a lot has happened in the last 365 days. I’ve grown in the Lord, I’ve struggled with When U Pray and what it needs to looks like moving forward. I’ve watched my marriage grow and become more fulfilling. I’ve seen my 12 year old granddaughter struggle through school and friendship decisions, various life lessons and just being 12. I’ve seen my 4 year old granddaughter come into her personality and her love for life and everything in it. I’ve watched my daughter continue her struggle with anxiety and depression, watched her show up for panel discussions and blog posts while she was yet in the midst of a panic attack, I’ve been amazed at her capacity to just keep going.

Lord Knows it has not been easy this year. I was thinking In spite of all that I’ve been through I have had some adventures. I spent a week in Palm Springs with the amazing Water Walking Women. I took a two week vacation and went to Rome, Malta and Greece. I got to see the Sistine Chapel, yes little ole me, al I could do was cry and Thank God. I stood on the pages of history in the Roman Colliseum, panicked atop a mountain in Santorini Greece and shopped like a boss in Mykonos Greece, stood outside the atheneum in Greece. I buried my maternal grandfather, my stepfather, my Aunt Kat, one of my best friends, a youndlady I went to church with who was so dope, and my Father. Death has been a constant visitor this last year. I was getting ready to feel sorry for myself until I remembered the many bonds of friendship that were formed and made stronger this year and the healing with family members. There is just too much to be grateful for.

I decided to have joy instead of pain, peace instead of turmoil and love instead of hate. No, my year wasn’t perfect but it was amazing.. looking forward to another year of awesomeness.

“I am telling you this, but not because I need something. I have learned to be satisfied with what I have and with whatever happens. I know how to live when I am poor and when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of how to live through any kind of situation—when I have enough to eat or when I am hungry, when I have everything I need or when I have nothing. Christ is the one who gives me the strength I need to do whatever I must do.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:11-13‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Not myself right now!

You ever have a time in your life when you don’t feel like YOU?

I had surgery a few months ago because I was tired of being in pain, not sleeping and being frustrated. I chose surgery because it was a permanent solution and I had tried all of the temporary solutions. They tell you the recovery period and you understand it on some level but I’m not sure They can make could you understand the true healing process.

I’m tired of not feeling like myself, it’s like my body has become a traitor. The aging process takes a toll on the mind and the body; I never imagined a life full of pain. Between menopause, allergies, migraines and a torn rotator cuff I’ve gotten lost.

I understand how people become addicted to pain killers and how they become depressed. This is not the way I planned to spend my spring and summer but it’s the cards I’ve been dealt. Thank God for people who let you rant and rave and vent because without it, I’d be lost.

When I find myself at my lowest, my most vulnerable, I hear a little voice telling me that this is just a test, reminding me that I am not alone, reminding me that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Then the voice gets louder and louder and and says You can do all things through Christ, yes even this. Then I am reminded in 2nd Corinthians that I can take pleasure in my infirmities because when I am weak, he is strong. Then that voice gets louder and louder and reminds me that in Isaiah 40:29 God gives power to the faint and provides them strength.

Then my heart stills, the voices in my head quiets and my soul is at peace.

“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭KJV‬‬

It’s not How you pray , it’s WhenUPray!

Who’s that girl

I looked across the room and there was a woman

looking back at me, she beckoned me to her with a smile and a nod. As I approached the woman I made a few assumptions about her based on my limited life experiences. I assumed she was fairly well off because she was dressed well, had a nice bag and shoes (my favorites). I assumed she had no problems or concerns because she had a smile on her face with smile lines that indicated she smiled a lot. I had no idea what she could want with me but something inside would not allow me to turn away. I took one step then two, then a third and I stopped. My feelings of apprehension increased because there was something in the back of my mind telling me to run the other way. I stopped and stared at this woman because there was something oddly familiar about her and it made me uncomfortable, I was feeling dirty, abused and unloved. I had feelings of discontent and I was scared. How odd that I would feel this way when all she had done was beckoned me forward. My spirit leaped and my heart pushed me to keep walking, I took one more step and one more and there I was face to face with this woman, she looked at me with that smile and all my insecurities tried to turn me away, I felt as if she could see my damaged but patched up heart, my bruised but healing soul, my mind and all it’s confusion. I thought, she can see me! She never said a word just reached out an hugged me and invited me into her life. It was then I that I realized I was looking at me, my adult self, the hurt and damaged little girl who had grown up, who had forgiven my tormentors and myself, the me who had turned her life over to the God of a second chance, the me who had been saved by grace, loved by God and given peace by the Holy Spirit! She loves me, she loves her youth, and accepts her into her womanhood with no regret, no hurt, no pain and I love her back, with my arms open wide, my heart squeezing me in my chest and my love shining for the world to see. I have learned to love Me!


As we prepared to bury our father last week my siblings and I decided to bury him in the Sacramento Valley National Cemetery which is reserved for veterans of the Navy, Army, National Gaurd and the Coast Gaurd. This was a new experience for me as I had never been to a military burial and had no idea what to expect.

I sat there as the military honored his service in the playing of Taps, I was truly moved by the rendition and I sat there and felt a variety of emotions ranging from extreme pride to intense sadness. I was proud that my father fought for this country so that his family and every family in America could experience freedoms that are foreign to many other countries, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of expression and so on and on. I was saddened because all of the fighting he and other veterans have done appear to be in vain. I look across the news and incidents in the United States and I see the freedom of black and brown people being violated without repercussions almost daily. I see the Leader of the country and his political party rallying around divisive legislation and practices and it saddens me. I keep thinking, “ Is this what my father fought for and was willing to die for?” I think not. I would like all of us to think about taking a knee, not because we don’t honor the flag and the sacrifice of our veterans but because we do! They fought for the very rights that are being violated every day. My father understood that taking a knee against racial profiling, systematic abuse of black and brown individuals and illegal sentencing were not what he fought for.

But I have hope that one dayour nation will relizethat it is not the color of our skin that separates us and that we are more alike than different and that we can live as one.

Honor thy mother

The role of mother is so important that God made sure his son had one. I believe that the thought of Mother’s Day creates strong and varied emotions in everyone. The expectations for a mother are so vast that no one could meet them all. A mother is expected to take care of the home, her spouse ( Significant Other) the children and any pets brought into the fold. She cooks, cleans, does laundry, car pools kids from one event to the other, cares for the pets and many times the automobile as well. Some are required to maintain the lawn and snow and any gardens present. Pay the bills, buy the groceries and make everybody happy, al before and while she holds down a full or part time job. Mom is required to be your counselor, teacher, preacher and motivator. Ahh, I forgot she also has dreams and ambitions of her own.

In the course of trying to be everything for everybody she often times neglects who she is , what she wants and what she needs. Stop and look at your mom, all the things she did for you, and remember, every person is different, has different needs and requires something different to be happy and we expect mom to know those things.

Honor the women in your life today, the journey is never as easy as they make it seem!

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:1-3‬ ‭KJV‬‬