That THING! (In my LAuren Hill voice)

I was on my iPhone face-timing with my daughter, my love.. All I could think was “She is so beautiful”. She said mama, is it like looking in a mirror when you see me? I said no, you are beautiful. My husband gave me the Ted bear look and asked “you think you are ugly?” He then went on to say “nobody who takes as many selfie as you could think they were ugly.”
I had to think about that, I don’t think I’m ugly, that’s for sure but when I look at my daughter I see a beautiful person, not just the way her features line up on her face but her spirit and her heart shining through making her beautiful to me.
When I look at myself in the mirror I often see what I have been through. I see the pain, the disappointment, the molestation, the despair, the heartbreak and my destructive actions. I know God has healed those places in me but there are still ruts and scars where the unholiness of the world met my Godly form. It’s like getting stitches, when they remove the thread, there is a noticeable scar to remind you of that thing. 
I think of the woman in the Bible with the issue of blood, in my mind it’s not just that she is bleeding from her women parts, it seems she is bleeding from her soul. She has given everything to this THING. This thing drained her of her ambition, her pride, her joy and her hope. This THING left her broken and down to her last coherent thought. Has that ever been you? Have you had that THING that happened to you or THING that you caused become bigger than you? It could be so many things, that man/woman who was all bad and you knew it, but nobody made you feel like that. It could be drugs, alcohol, depression, suicidal thoughts, molestation, physical abuse, shoplifting, sexual devience, that THING, you know what it is or was. Let’s be real
You are not the only person in your life affected by that THING. Everyone you encounter after that THING happens  is processed through what you have been through. You don’t love the same anymore, you don’t trust people or things anymore. You may lose some of your shine or you smile is not as wide. Everything you see is filtered through that THING. 

But that’s not the end of the story, praise God

This passage is used repeatedly by everyone because it is so appropriate. If you would allow your soul to speak for you it would tell you to give it to Jesus, it would remind you that there is enough healing in the hem of his garment to heal you.  Your soul is screaming, GET ME TO JESUS. Your soul knows if you get it to Jesus it’s gone be alright. 

“But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭9:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

http://bible.com/1/mat.9.22.kjv

Your healing in Jesus is immediate, he said from that hour and it was so. So I challenge you today, if you gave your life to Jesus, or you want to, let go. Let go of the THING that he forgave you from but you won’t forgive yourself. Forgive your abusers for they are not worth the rest your life. Let it go, if you are anything like me, I need forgiveness so I’m giving it out in bunches. 

“But if you don’t forgive others, then your Father in heaven will not forgive the wrongs you do.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:15‬ ‭ERV‬‬

http://bible.com/406/mat.6.15.erv

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3 thoughts on “That THING! (In my LAuren Hill voice)

  1. Love love love this and love you even more. Your transparency is so therapeutic. I thank God for your words of wisdom thru your trials and triumphs. Bless you my beautiful, inside and out, sista!. SMOOCHEZZZ😚😚💕

  2. I Bless God for you. He has given you such a gift for speaking the truth. Not just your truth, but the truth. You inspire and give hope as you let your light truly shine! Love you so❤

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