Good morning my loves. As open as I can be it’s always a struggle to share something personal and ongoing. Recently I had a mammogram and they called me back for some extra pictures. Well, that has happened before so I did not panic. My husband offered to go with me, I said this is nothing, they will take some pics and let me know later. Well I was wrong wrong wrong. After the pictures were taken the nurse told me to have a seat because the doctor needed to review the pics and if he could rule out Cancer I would be free to go. Well wait a minute, what are you talking about? That’s what I was thinking but my voice was quiet. A little piece of my soul was hanging on whispering “peace be still “ but my spirit man was screaming in my chest WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? I just stared at her and said, ok.
She left with pictures of my left breast tucked under her arm. I sat there and the first thought I had was “I don’t have time for this”. I didn’t know if I should scream and cry or just sit quietly. My spirit child kept whispering “peace be still”, “All is Well”, trust the process. I was numb and it was taking forever. But God always has a ram in the bush. A lady from my church who I’ve always considered a friend was there getting an exam and when she finished I asked her to sit with me. She didn’t ask any questions she just sat there and talked to me. God sent her at that exact time, just for me.
The nurse came back to the room and asked me to follow her. We went into a room with a huge table with a hole in the middle, X-ray machines and other items I had never seen. She told me the doctor was unable to rule out cancer and I needed a biopsy of my left breast. I had no words! I sat there numbly as she explained the procedure and what was required of me. I was panicking inside and it seemed as if my voice was screaming in my throat and burning it inside but nothing could come out. After she scheduled my appointment I headed to the lobby and told my friend I had to have a biopsy. She offered to be there with me every step of the way, I was numb. I got dressed and headed to my car.
I have to pause here and tell you that on the way to my appointment I had my smooth r&b playlist bumping in the car from my phone. Normally when I get back in the car it picks up where it left off right.. naaaah God had something else planned. I jumped in the car and immediately the song “Bigger” began to play.. I fell apart right there in the parking lot at how great my God is! He wanted me to know he was bigger than what I was going through. All I could think was “How did this song begin to play?” But then I though about God and him saying nothing is impossible! Yeah he kept me as I dealt with my fears.
Well to shorten the story, everything came back negative and I do not have Breast Cancer🙌🏽 The experience reminded me how quickly your life can change. It reminded me to be careful of my relationships and to cherish the people who cherish me and to love on purpose. To be purposeful about my actions and my reactions. I did not give any of my friends and loved ones the opportunity to support me through this because I did not know if I should burden them with this. But know I realize I could have used the emotional support.