Married and wondering what is going on? Yeah I’ve been there. During different times in my life I have prayed and begged God to have a closer relationship with Michael (my husband). I can remember days when my husband did not come home, running around in the streets getting high, gambling and sleeping with this chick or another. I say this to encourage you, because today he provided the scripture and a prayer to open church. Who knew right? “We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan.”
Romans 8:28 ERV
That’s not the story though, I was thinking about how often we, as Christian Women, want our man to have a closer relationship with God. We pray and fast, we moan and groan, beg and plead without knowing what that will mean for us. I bet you wonder where am I going with this?
We often want what the world tells us is the perfect alignment of a relationship. We want the man to move to the head of the family, make the decision, be the man and all that Jazz. We want a husband who is like our father or grandfather but also like our brother and cousin (cool and hip). We expect him to morph into something he is not just because society has said so. You know who your husband is, you know what man you married, so how can him accepting Christ change who he is foundationally? If you’ve always made the decisions for the family, you still will after he accepts Christ. If you lead the family before, you may have to continue to do so after he meets Jesus formally. Getting saved and accepting Christ is not a magic potion, it does not give a man super powers.
I’m saying this, know the man you are married to and learn to accept him as is, the way you want to be accepted. Trust that God knows what he is doing, just like he is working on you, he is working on your husband, but that does not mean he will automatically make him someone different. Your marriage may not look like everybody else’s but does it work for you? Pick your battles, fight the fights you can win. Trust God with your husband, know that he knows what you need and he will provide you with the skills you need to do any job he has set before you. I ask that you remember your husband and why you agreed to marry him.. those special things are still special and I know what you hear about dominion and stuff but does it look the same for every family? I say it does not. I say there is a lid for every bottom and someone has to lead and someone has to follow. If your husband all of a sudden becomes the leader, can you follow?
Are you prepared for what you are praying for? You have been the decision maker and now you will be required to bend to the will of someone else. This could create a whole new set of problems unless you are truly ready. Just think what that could look like? Be prepared for what you are praying for or you will be unhappy because you will be caught up in your feelings because now he is telling you no, not right now or asking for explanations that you believe are unnecessary. When he is leading you have to trust he is hearing from God and that the decisions he are making is for the good of your family. You have to take a back seat when your used to driving sista, it’s not easy and if you are not prayed up the devil enters in. He starts reminding you that you did this job without his help all these years, who does he think he is telling you no, you work every day. Etc etc etc, the devil uses your dissatisfaction to wreck havoc on your marriage. I’m not saying the man should not move to the head of the relationship but I am saying, only if it’s God will. “Your help made me so happy. Give me that joy again. Make my spirit strong and ready to obey you.”
Psalms 51:12 ERV
It’s not easy being a wife because there are no real rules but I say let your heart rule❤️