Not myself right now!

You ever have a time in your life when you don’t feel like YOU?

I had surgery a few months ago because I was tired of being in pain, not sleeping and being frustrated. I chose surgery because it was a permanent solution and I had tried all of the temporary solutions. They tell you the recovery period and you understand it on some level but I’m not sure They can make could you understand the true healing process.

I’m tired of not feeling like myself, it’s like my body has become a traitor. The aging process takes a toll on the mind and the body; I never imagined a life full of pain. Between menopause, allergies, migraines and a torn rotator cuff I’ve gotten lost.

I understand how people become addicted to pain killers and how they become depressed. This is not the way I planned to spend my spring and summer but it’s the cards I’ve been dealt. Thank God for people who let you rant and rave and vent because without it, I’d be lost.

When I find myself at my lowest, my most vulnerable, I hear a little voice telling me that this is just a test, reminding me that I am not alone, reminding me that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Then the voice gets louder and louder and and says You can do all things through Christ, yes even this. Then I am reminded in 2nd Corinthians that I can take pleasure in my infirmities because when I am weak, he is strong. Then that voice gets louder and louder and reminds me that in Isaiah 40:29 God gives power to the faint and provides them strength.

Then my heart stills, the voices in my head quiets and my soul is at peace.

“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭KJV‬‬

It’s not How you pray , it’s WhenUPray!

3 responses to “Not myself right now!”

  1. I absolutely have times when I dont feel like myself. And sometimes I ramble, sometimes Im quiet. Its never the same every time.

  2. Our sermon series this month is on 1 Samuel and how the Lord uses our trials for ultimate good. Run to the Lord despite our trials, for He is our hope and salvation! Read 1 Samuel 2:2 and 1 Samuel 2:8-9. I’m trying to help my sister, whose son died last year at age 34. She is so angry at God right now and I fear for her and pray for her. I lost my first born as well, as did a sister in law this summer. We don’t know God’s reasons, but we must rely on his goodness. Miss you terribly and hope you are finding strength and comfort for your trials! Love, L.

  3. S – is there anything I can do to help you? You’ve been on my mind and in my heart. – L

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