I’m a mess

Just the other day I was washing my car and I noticed all the imperfections in the paint, the scratches, the dents, the rust spots and the vinyl top that needs a few stitches.
I began to get discouraged thinking “This car is a mess” but I kept washing it. Then I remembered
Almost every time I’m out driving with the top down people stop me and say “I love your car” or “That’s a nice car” because they look at the overall beauty of the car without picking it apart flaw by flaw. They do not look too closely nor do they care about all the stuff I was thinking.

I started to see the comparison to my own life, I see all of my own flaws, I see how I’ve been hurt, the people I have hurt, my bad decisions and my insecurities, wow “I am a mess”. I looked for people to show appreciation for who I am as a person but they only see the dents and dings in my personality. I looked for things to buy to cover up those dents and dings , like pretty dresses, beautiful handbags and cute shoes but the dings are still there. I looked in the refrigerator for things to eat that would allow me to cover up the dents and dings but nothing changed I was still exposed. I kept waiting for someone to say “You’re a good person” or some indication that they could look past my flaws and see the overall person I was, not just the sum of my errors and the things I had been through; none of that happened until Jesus found me sitting on a pew, tired, lonely, hurting and in despair.

Once I developed a relationship with the Lord he led me to these words, over and over to remind me ..
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:1, 13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

And once I allowed these words to minister to me I realized. I AM OK!

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