When U Pray

So last night I was picking greens and all of a sudden my eyes wanted to water. I had to stop and remind myself that memories are a window into the past that allow us to remember and feel those feelings again. My mom always spent the night before thanksgiving and we would pick the greens. But we didn’t really JUST pick greens. We laughed, we talked, we reminisced and we healed. It wasn’t the greens so much as the intentional time we had. I struggled as a young girl with forgiveness, my mothers drug and alcohol dependence often left me in harms way or alone and it made me an angry child. I am so glad Bessie Anderson showed me what love and compassion looked like so I could heal the relationship I had with my mother while she still lived. So I could get to know her as a human and not just an addict. My mom was so amazing but I had to let go of the anger to embrace the love.
Thanksgiving 1984 I was pregnant, miserable and feeling as if I looked a mess in a pair of borrowed maternity pants and Michaels shirt. my mom and I had dinner with Michaels family it was big dinner, my mom got so high she fell asleep in her plate, mashed potatoes and stuffing all over her. I was angry, frustrated and embarrassed, I was trying to get her together so we could leave but that was not Gods plan. God wanted me to see what grace looks like so he sent Bessie Anderson, who cleaned my mom up, spoon fed her and put her to bed. It didn’t register that day but God kept bringing me back to those actions of love and reminded me that all I had to do was love my mom, it was his job to clean her up.
I’m not sure who needed this story today but know this. Our relationship wasn’t healed that day but it was a start and over time granny’s actions ministered to me in ways words can’t. It’s not what you say, it’s what you do and she showed me love in action.
Today I honor both of those women who taught me so much and gave me a thankful heart.
Be blessed my loves .. it wasn’t about the greens