“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”Psalm 91:4 NIV
Its so funny how the only way to meet God is through death. Yet so many of us fear it. I know I do.
Over the last 8 weeks I’ve cried out to God to not take me away from children and family!! He probably tired of hearing from me!! Many nights falling asleep thinking I wouldn’t wake up to see their beautiful faces..
Let’s just say scared is and was an understatement. In August I went to ER due to chest pains. I was for sure I had asthma. I had totally diagnosed myself. However, the Doctor came in and told me I had a blood clot in my lungs. Then asked if I had any questions… Uhhh wait, what?!? Anytime I heard of this people died!! I immediately started crying, every piece of Faith I had went out the window.
Luckily my parents were there to cover me in prayer and reroute me back to God and all of his promises!! I was admitted into the hospital and stayed there for about 3 days. Then home to recover for about 3 weeks. With medication, rest and a lot of telling God how he can’t take me from here yet. I started to feel better. Not 100% but better. Back to work and getting things back to normal.
I was talking to a friend at work who directed me to the scripture “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.” Psalm 91:7-8 NIV
And it was so comforting knowing no matter what has happened to someone else God has me covered. I recited it everyday. When I felt like I couldn’t move. When I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. And I would feel a sense of calmness. Like God was saying girl I got you!!!
Well about a week ago. I started to feel the chest pains again. I ignored it for a few days thinking I just over did it and needed to rest. On the third day I called my mother and told her to meet me at ER. We got there and they ran some test. The Doctor came in and said we got good news and bad news. The clot that you had is getting smaller but now you have a new one in your other lung. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!!! I just knew I was on the road to recovery!!!
Welp I was admitted again. This time I had surgery. They put a filter over my main artery to make sure no more clots travel to my heart or lungs. I was in the hospital about a week. A very draining week. I’m home now and I’m on the road to recovery again!!
I would be a lie if I said I haven’t questioned God through out this. That my Faith hasn’t been tested. That I haven’t been scared. But I can say that every time I have felt negative about my situation God has reassured me that he is not through with me yet!! He has given me some visions and promises that hasn’t come to pass and I need to be here to fulfill them!!!
I assure you I didn’t write this post for sympathy. But to let you know whatever you are dealing with or going through. God has your back. He is always there when we need him!! He showed me back to back that a diagnosis that kill most, he allowed me to survive!!!
So that shows me I can never be a victim!! I’m a survivor whose sharing her testimony!!!! Please listen to your body at all times!!!! And listen to God!!!! He will never forsake you!!!