I’ve seen this guy from the beginning of being a father of one. To being married as a father of 3. Please read below as my husband Keion Morgan share with you his journey on the fatherhood roller coaster…
As I sit and think to myself what is the true definition of the word FATHER? I take a look back on my life and realize that I honestly never knew exactly what it took to be a father. Due to the fact I (like a lot of African American males) grew up in a single parent home where my dad was absent well let’s just say he was tardy for most of my childhood lol… And my Mother had to shoulder the load of being both Mom and Dad trying to raise a boy into a man and instill in me things I would need to help me make it in this world. Now don’t get me wrong I have had some positive male role models during my 35 years of life and they have all had a significant impact on the man I am today from my GrandFather, StepFather, Uncle, GodFather, GodBrother, 3 Best Friends and most recently my Father in Law and my Pastor I have taken a lil bit from each of them and tried to apply it to my everyday life.
Which leads me to my personal definition of what a FATHER and Fatherhood means to me! I became a dad when I was 20 years old and man was I scared I had no clue on what it took to raise a kid I was fresh off being a kid myself in most cases, yeah I was responsible and somewhat wise for my age at least I felt that way and that’s what was told and expressed to me by my family and friends but no way was I prepared to be called someone’s dad. But when my 1st born came into this world and I laid eyes on him and held him in my arms for the 1st time I felt something come over my spirit like yeah you got this! I think it was GOD just letting me know that I would be ok even if I was scared and nervous and didn’t know what or how to do it, it could and would be done.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
2 Timothy 1:7 NIV
You see even though I didn’t understand what I took to be a father I knew that I wanted to be the father to my son I never had. I held a grudge against my dad for so long because I felt he wasn’t there for me like I felt he should be. He wasn’t that picture perfect father who took me under his wing and taught me how to play sports, how to dress for success, how to speak to individuals in a room full of strangers, how to treat a woman with respect and class, how to be a leader and not a follower and to pick myself up and dust off when I fall in the game of life, in my eyes he just wasn’t helping me or preparing me to be a MAN! But unknowingly to me at the time he did, because everything he wasn’t there to give me made me want it that much more so in that since he did help me more than he would have ever known because it forced me to search for that in which I was missing and in desperate need of and I found it and got it from several individuals, great men whom I am proud to call family and friends to this day.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 NIV
It took me until I became an Adult a Husband and a Father of now 3 beautiful children to realize that it wasn’t my dad’s fault that he wasn’t able to give me what I needed, you see my dad lost his father to gun violence when he was young boy which left him without the father figure he so desperately needed to help him become the man he needed to be that would be able to pour into the seed he had created.
He too was raised in a single parent home and had to overcome the same obstacles as I did growing up without his dad around but had failed to do so. Which I feel ultimately led to him not being able to become the father I needed growing up. At this time in my life I have no hard feelings towards my dad I get it I understand it wasn’t completely his fault and I Love him for what he was able to give to me and appreciate him for his part in the creation of my life. And now that I am a Father I can tell you it is no easy task but it is well worth it to be able to watch someone you help create grow and blossom into beautiful soul and do wonderful things that you could only imagine. Trust me you are gonna run into some rough spots I know.
I encourage you to find and begin to build a relationship with GOD in order to have a successful relationship with your child. I have a 15 year old son who has tested my skills as a father over the last few years. During the test I have learned more about myself and what it takes to not only be called a father but what it takes to be a father. I try to learn from the mistakes I made with him and do a better job at fathering my daughters and boy is there a difference between the two. Girls definitely bring out another part of you lol…
But that’s the beauty of it all you there is no such thing as being a perfect father you just have to be your child’s father! So I will end this by telling any man young or old that has fathered a child be there for that child no matter what they didn’t ask to come into this crazy world we’re living in but now that they are here they are gonna need us to be the men we were put here to be.
There are many qualities of a Father. Strong, Selfless, Hard Working, Loving, Understanding, Helpful, Encouraging, Protector, Provider and Disciplinary. So I encourage you as well as myself to have many of these qualities if not all and we my brothers are the definition of a FATHER! May GOD bless you and yours and wish all of you a Happy Father’s Day ✌🏿️&❤️