“So they are no longer two, but one. God has joined them together, so no one should separate them.””
Matthew 19:6 ERV
On my way to church today I had forgotten my wedding rings.. I turned around went back home and put them on. Yup, I was almost late because I didn’t have my rings on … I know I know the rings don’t make me married the relationship does, however; it’s what they represent that matters.
This month my husband and I celebrate 31 years married and 41 together, what an accomplishment, but I can’t take the credit. When I walked in the door at church one of the gentleman asked me how we stayed married this long? I told him it was a hot mess, we messed up a lot, we got some stuff right and some things went so wrong it destroyed us over and over but here we are. I told him, I thank God that both of us never gave up at the same time.
No relationship is perfect, binding two lives together does not happen at the wedding. The wedding is for the family and friends to experience a huge party to celebrate a decision to join together. The marriage starts the day after the wedding. Learning to live together, to share experiences and solve problems helps to create the foundation. For me and my family, all that was good but it was raggedy until we asked God to join with us. It was the power of God that allowed me to heal enough from my youth to accept love from my husband. It took God to help him heal the broken places in him that helped him to be a good husband. It took God to bind us closer and heal together from the the things we did to hurt each other. Let’s be transparent here, hurt people hurt people now matter how much they love each other. This was not an easy or painless process, this took some hard conversations a lot of forgiveness and a whole lot of mercy. I can honestly admit I would not have been unable to do this in my own power but with the power of God, I have a marriage I always dreamed about.
My marriage prior to God was good too, we laughed and had fun and parented our child but the lack of God allowed a whole lot of mess to become more important than what was important.
I will admit, I brought my mamas values to my marriage. My mama was devastated in both of her marriages, she was cheated on and walked away from that marriage into the arms of an abuser and tormentor. My entire life she taught me not to trust a man, not to depend on anyone but myself, not to let my left hand know what the right was doing, it was ingrained in me from my earliest childhood. Fast forward, I’m married to a different man (still a man) we helped raise each other, 15 years old and not even aware of how to be individuals let alone a couple but we survived and had a baby at 17 our own home etc but his father was a hustler and a womanizer and he wanted to emulate him and my mom was a hustler and I wanted nothing to do with that life. You see the problems right .. train wreck .. but we survived and when we added God.. we thrived.
So yeah I went back to get my rings, I don’t want anyone to think for one second we not tight.. and i could be mad as hell and not talking to him but I’ll be mad with my rings on. Him and have committed to cool down, talk it out and work through it, because that’s the promise we made to each other.
So I say, ask God into your marriage and heal anything that’s broken.
“and if my people who are called by my name become humble and pray, and look for me, and turn away from their evil ways, then I will hear them from heaven. I will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 ERV